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When someone is passing or someone has just passed we are normally at a loss as to what to say to them, so I thought I would share this.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one has to be one of the hardest experiences we as humans can ever go through. The pain I experienced with the loss of Liz was immense. I lost my mother 9 years earlier and went through grief then but it was nothing like losing Liz. I have written a couple of poems and article on my journey which you may find helpful. Click here.

If there was just one thing to share with you now, it would be this: Presence has a real power contained within it. It is the power of love and grace. The more you are able to be fully centred and fully present with someone who is going through trauma the more healing takes place, with no ‘doing’ or saying on your part. Just Being.

If there is something that needs to be said, then comfort and love will flow from your lips with no fore-thought or planning from your side.  There is an amazing wisdom that comes from stillness.

I came across these words of wisdom from Marilyn Mendoza, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, an adjunct assistant professor at Tulane Medical School Department of Psychiatry, and the author of We Do Not Die Alone.

I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in whatever way you need me.

I am sorry for your loss.

I wish I had the right words to say. Just know I care.

I am sorry you have to go through this.

Let’s go have some coffee.

I will keep you and your loved one in my thoughts and prayers.

I am just a phone call away.

I’m bringing dinner over.

I hope you find this and my other Blogs on dealing with grief helpful and of some comfort.

In love and blessings

John